Ê I'm Scared, Pa!Ê - Ê ViperEye Ê - Ê03rd Jun 2004 02:10
Goodness gracious. It has been one heck of a long time.
Let’s see now. The last time I left you, I was going to bomb DirecTV for screwing up on delivering me my DVR, which ended up never coming. I, in a varying state of anger and pissed-offness, idiotically decided to ask for my money back and cancel my order. I say idiotically, for if I had not performed that miserably unfortunate act, I would be watching recorded TV at this very moment instead of sitting in front of my keyboard, pretending to be writing a school essay while in fact jotting down a much more enjoyable (and much less purposeful) .plan for the Troopers site. Nevertheless, I remain quite happy, for I have just purchased two items that I will now joyously recommend to all of you. And, in case you’re asking, I have no reason to believe that any of you care whether or not I recommend a product before you head over to your preferred web-store to grab it. But then, I don’t have much else to talk about, so this seems like a darn good idea to me.
As I was saying, I purchased two items. The first is a desk lamp. The second is a variation on silly putty. Now, hold up. Before you start screaming Sweet Fancy Moses* and plunging your steak knifes through your monitors, hear out my reasoning for purchasing said items.
1) Everyone needs a desk lamp. Staring at a computer monitor in the dark is just plain painful, beautiful as the sight may be. In addition, extra light means that you can see your food while you’re gaming, instead of shoving your lips onto the plate and grabbing a mouthful of God-knows-what between frags. We, as gamers, require food to continue our playtime. Food is best consumed at the computer, for the simple fact that if you eat anywhere else, you are not at the computer. Thus, a desk lamp of some sort is a necessity to prevent excessive spillage.
However, just any desk lamp will simply not do. You have to be able to avoid glare, while still being able to see your food (or reading material, if you can multi-task that well). That is why indirect lighting is such a godsend, and why the is simply THE way to go.
2) During those moments when you are reading things (for instance, a .plan written by an incredibly talented member of a MOD development team) instead of playing games, you need to have something to do with your hands.
No, not that. Good grief. You’re disgusting.
I’m talking silly putty. But not just ANY silly putty, no, THIS stuff is special. I’m talking , folks, and it is glorious. Bounce it, stretch it, tear it, stick it, drip it, smash it, shatter it, eat it, you can pretty much do anything with it. Plus, it comes in some freakin’ AWESOME colors, including glow-in-the-dark. Come on. Who doesn’t want glow-in-the-dark putty?
Now, you may have noticed that both of the above links reference the same site, . You would be right. They have some absolutely sweet stuff there, from clothing to hovering globes to leather-bound copies of The Lord of the Rings. I’m talking some SWEET STUFF. So go check it out. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
Because this is a Troopers .plan, I think I’m probably under some sort of illegal obligation to say something about the mod. So I figure I’ll just give you guys a date: June 6th. Be there. Or here. Or wherever the hell you are on June 6th. Either way, Sunday’s going to ROCK.
At least, I THINK it will. But then, I’m the same guy that had high hopes I’d get my DVR installed the next day. I have a thing about screwing up dates.
* No, this is not my line. In fact, I’m guessing that you know exactly where this particular phrase is from. I chose said phrase because it relates (in a very roundabout way) to something** that is said later.
** And no, I have nothing against Moses. I mean, come on, I called him FANCY.
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